By: Tom Nealon

Abbie Hoffman was onto something.

By: Tom Nealon

The delicious end result of the condiment expression of “greed is good.”

By: Tom Nealon

Don’t question the vision; roux and whisk and be well.

By: Tom Nealon

Like eating a beef bouillon cube, in a (mostly) good way.

By: Tom Nealon

A certain amount of mythology has built up around umeboshi’s properties…

By: Tom Nealon

You know what cucumberless tzatziki is going to taste like…

By: Tom Nealon

When you want all of it, all at once, all the time.

By: Tom Nealon

Does it seem to stare at you, your gravy?

By: Tom Nealon

The amygdala files it under “not food, scary.”

By: Tom Nealon

Make some pikliz, put it on your pylsa…

By: Tom Nealon

It’s an endless condiment machine…

By: Tom Nealon

“more thicker than forget / more thinner than recall.”

By: Tom Nealon

Popular among testicle-humor lovers worldwide…

By: Tom Nealon

For God’s sake, roast your peppers.

By: Tom Nealon

A sort of Proustian sleight of hand…