By: P.G. Wodehouse

“Did someone steal Lady Constance’s necklace tonight?”

By: P.G. Wodehouse

“Ladies and gentlemen, I think the lights have gone out.”

By: Joshua Glenn

From FLOWERS FOR ALGERNON to THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE

By: P.G. Wodehouse

“Are you really choosing this moment to — to propose to me?”

By: P.G. Wodehouse

“Of course,” argued Mr. Keeble, “it isn’t really stealing.”

By: P.G. Wodehouse

“Oh, thinking?” said Freddie, impressed. “Right-ho!”

By: P.G. Wodehouse

“You’re dashed hard on a fellow,” said Freddie.

By: Joshua Glenn

From THE LORD OF THE RINGS to I AM LEGEND and THE EAGLE OF THE NINTH

By: P.G. Wodehouse

A damp face with twigs sticking to it was protruding from a nearby yew.

By: P.G. Wodehouse

“You persist in the delusion that my name is William.”

By: P.G. Wodehouse

“I’d like to knock you for a goal!”

By: P.G. Wodehouse

“When it comes to doping out a scheme, you’re the snake’s eyebrows!”

By: Joshua Glenn

From Orwell’s 1984 to Van Tilburg Clark’s THE TRACK OF THE CAT and Lawson’s THE FABULOUS FLIGHT

By: Joshua Glenn

“We must always distinguish between the unlikely and the impossible.”

By: P.G. Wodehouse

“My name’s McTodd — Ralston McTodd.”