MÖSH CONTEST RUNNER-UP
By:
March 23, 2024
One in a series of 25 enthusiastic posts, contributed by 25 HILOBROW friends and regulars, on the topic of metal records from the Eighties (1984–1993, in our periodization schema). Series edited by Heather Quinlan. Also check out our MÖSH YOUR ENTHUSIASM playlist at Spotify.
We are pleased to present, here, the MÖSH YOUR ENTHUSIASM essay contest runner-up. Congratulations to James Scott Maloy — and our thanks to everyone who entered the contest!
ACCEPT | “MIDNIGHT MOVER” | 1985
I went to see KISS at Radio City Music Hall in the spring of 1984. This was on their first tour without makeup, when Vinnie “The Disappearing Egyptian” Vincent had replaced Ace on lead guitar and the drummer played on a giant tank turret. (Which couldn’t really fire anything because it would set the Music Hall curtains ablaze and then what would the Rockettes do?)
But before we young rivetheads got KISS, we got Accept. Accept was not an entirely unknown quantity among teenage New Jersey metalheads at the time. The DJ at Montclair State who played metal once a week had long touted their Teutonic heaviness; Brian and I had laughed ourselves silly over the scratched Heidi introduction to “Fast Like a Shark.” Balls to the Wall had just appeared in stores but MTV wasn’t playing their videos.
So imagine our surprise when four shaggy instrumentalists came out in contractually mandated leather pants with leather vests and launched into “Shark”… and then, with a terrifying pterodactyl shriek, Udo Dirkschneider appeared.
Good heavens.
Envision a bridge troll that got its hair peroxide bleached and then became a sergeant in the Wehrmacht. Lotta broken mirrors in the Dirkschneider household. Like if the Scorpions had dumped Klaus Meine and replaced him with Klaus Kinski.
Nonetheless, Udo raged at the heavens and stormed around like he was the headliner. Accept kicked enormous quantities of ass and gave KISS a very hard run for their money. Metal Heart appeared a year later. A real mixed bag of an album for sure, but “Teach Us to Survive” did charmingly credit several members of the band with “fingersnipping.”
The single — and best song on the album — was “Midnight Mover.” It still thrills me to hear, lo these 40 years later. The interlocking guitars on the intro. The “slow down!” gear change leading into that soaring chorus. I have no idea what the lyrics mean even when I’m looking at them, and it doesn’t matter. Slow down! Back off! I DON’T PAY THE PRICE!
I love you, Accept.
Sincerely, 57-year-old Jim.
P.S. For extra joy, go to YouTube and dig Zbigniew Rybczynski’s whirling-hall-of-mirrors video for “Midnight Mover.” Can’t let the camera focus on any of those fuckers for too long.
MÖSH YOUR ENTHUSIASM: INTRODUCTION by Heather Quinlan | Crockett Doob on Metallica’s ENTER SANDMAN | Dean Haspiel on Mötley Crüe’s HOME SWEET HOME | Jack Silbert on Poison’s TALK DIRTY TO ME | Adam McGovern on Dio’s INVISIBLE | Mariane Cara on Faith No More’s EPIC | Heather Quinlan on Blue Öyster Cult’s SHOOTING SHARK | Steve Schneider on UFO’s DIESEL IN THE DUST | Carlo Rotella on Primus’ JERRY WAS A RACE CAR DRIVER | Erik Davis on St. Vitus’ BORN TOO LATE | Greg Rowland on Motörhead’s ACE OF SPADES (remix) | Kathy Biehl on Twisted Sister’s WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT | Nikhil Singh on G.I.S.M.’s GAS BURNER PANIC | Erin M. Routson on Metallica’s ESCAPE | Holly Interlandi on Helmet’s MILQUETOAST | Marc Weidenbaum on Celtic Frost’s I WON’T DANCE (THE ELDERS’ ORIENT) | Amy Keyishian on Living Colour’s CULT OF PERSONALITY | Josh Glenn on Scorpions’ STILL LOVING YOU | Alycia Chillemi on Danzig’s SOUL ON FIRE | James Parker on Godflesh’s CHRISTBAIT RISING | Miranda Mellis on The Afflicted’s HERE COME THE COPS | Rene Rosa on Type O Negative’s BLACK NO. 1 | Tony Leone on Slayer’s SOUTH OF HEAVEN | Christopher Cannon on Neurosis’s LOST | Brian Berger on Black Sabbath’s HEADLESS CROSS | MÖSH CONTEST-WINNING ENTRY: Tony Pacitti on Metallica’s THE CALL OF KTULU. PLUS: CONTEST RUNNER-UP: James Scott Maloy on Accept’s MIDNIGHT MOVER.
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