MÖSH YOUR ENTHUSIASM (21)
By:
March 10, 2024
One in a series of 25 enthusiastic posts, contributed by 25 HILOBROW friends and regulars, on the topic of metal records from the Eighties (1984–1993, in our periodization schema). Series edited by Heather Quinlan. Also check out our MÖSH YOUR ENTHUSIASM playlist at Spotify.
TYPE O NEGATIVE | “BLACK NO. 1 (LITTLE MISS SCARE-ALL)” | 1993
When you think of musical satire, you rarely think of a heavy metal band, especially not a death rock or goth metal band. They are trying to be so spooky, scary, and serious and there is no way any of that can be funny… well, at least not on purpose.
Then comes along Type O Negative. With lyrics about romance, depression, and death, you would not think they would be a great source of laughter, but that’s only at first glance. And honestly, it really doesn’t take much to see that they were fucking with us the whole time.
The “Goth Girlfriend” anthem of 1993, “Black No. 1 (Little Miss Scare-All)” is patently ridiculous, but only if you pay attention to the lyrics. Who does that? The sly lyrics with such a slow, heavy grind of a song are easy to miss upon first listen but come on, you know he can’t be seriously belting out “She’s got a date at midnight with Nosferatu! / Oh baby, Lily Munster ain’t got nothing on you!”
It’s just funny. It doesn’t have to try hard to do what it sets out to. The song is super catchy, and hilarious, and has some great riffage. It’s even become a karaoke staple. Still, many people don’t realize Peter Steele is making fun of people in the Goth and Metal scenes who take themselves so seriously about their looks and routines before going out for the night. And sure, he’s singing from a place of love to a certain extent, but who doesn’t rib a significant other about their pre-party routine? Even better, they turned it into an epic 11-minute+ song. I wonder if that was to make it feel like you were waiting forever for “her” to finish getting ready for the night.
“Yeah, you wanna go out ’cause it’s raining and blowing / You can’t go out ’cause your roots are showing. / Dye ’em black.” To this day, I still know people who didn’t “get” Type O, but man, if you ever saw them live you knew the deal. In between songs, Pete would say things like, “This is one of our worst songs, so we’re going to play it extra slow so it lasts even longer for you, tonight,” and the crowd would eat it up and cheer. So much self-deprecation, even their first “greatest hits” compilation was titled The Least Worst of Type O Negative.
As a teenager hearing Type O for the first time in the ’90s, they had so much going for me with their music, and then they made me laugh. I thought Gwar was the only metal band out there that could crack me up, and then boom, Type O started getting played on local metal radio stations and I instantly was hooked. For someone like me who always loves to throw some humor into the music I make, it was a breath of fresh air to see that I wasn’t going to be embarking on purely uncharted waters. “Black No. 1” kinda changed everything for me as a fan and a musician. Discovering Type O helped me to know that I could find folks who were into my brand of humor within the heavy music world and I will always appreciate having a band I could point to as an influence for sarcastic, crass, lyrics within a genre of music that usually takes itself so damn seriously.
MÖSH YOUR ENTHUSIASM: INTRODUCTION by Heather Quinlan | Crockett Doob on Metallica’s ENTER SANDMAN | Dean Haspiel on Mötley Crüe’s HOME SWEET HOME | Jack Silbert on Poison’s TALK DIRTY TO ME | Adam McGovern on Dio’s INVISIBLE | Mariane Cara on Faith No More’s EPIC | Heather Quinlan on Blue Öyster Cult’s SHOOTING SHARK | Steve Schneider on UFO’s DIESEL IN THE DUST | Carlo Rotella on Primus’ JERRY WAS A RACE CAR DRIVER | Erik Davis on St. Vitus’ BORN TOO LATE | Greg Rowland on Motörhead’s ACE OF SPADES (remix) | Kathy Biehl on Twisted Sister’s WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT | Nikhil Singh on G.I.S.M.’s GAS BURNER PANIC | Erin M. Routson on Metallica’s ESCAPE | Holly Interlandi on Helmet’s MILQUETOAST | Marc Weidenbaum on Celtic Frost’s I WON’T DANCE (THE ELDERS’ ORIENT) | Amy Keyishian on Living Colour’s CULT OF PERSONALITY | Josh Glenn on Scorpions’ STILL LOVING YOU | Alycia Chillemi on Danzig’s SOUL ON FIRE | James Parker on Godflesh’s CHRISTBAIT RISING | Miranda Mellis on The Afflicted’s HERE COME THE COPS | Rene Rosa on Type O Negative’s BLACK NO. 1 | Tony Leone on Slayer’s SOUTH OF HEAVEN | Christopher Cannon on Neurosis’s LOST | Brian Berger on Black Sabbath’s HEADLESS CROSS | MÖSH CONTEST-WINNING ENTRY: Tony Pacitti on Metallica’s THE CALL OF KTULU. PLUS: CONTEST RUNNER-UP: James Scott Maloy on Accept’s MIDNIGHT MOVER.
JACK KIRBY PANELS | CAPTAIN KIRK SCENES | OLD-SCHOOL HIP HOP | TYPEFACES | NEW WAVE | SQUADS | PUNK | NEO-NOIR MOVIES | COMICS | SCI-FI MOVIES | SIDEKICKS | CARTOONS | TV DEATHS | COUNTRY | PROTO-PUNK | METAL | & more enthusiasms!