PROJECT:OBJECTIONABLE (16)

By: Crystal Durant
November 24, 2021

One in a series of 25 first-person narratives of offense, outrage, innocent transgression or principled affront, in attire, display, speech or spectacle.

LICENSE TO SHOCK

I’ve always been an “Agent Provocateur” in a myriad of ways — my clothing, my artwork, and one time, via my license plate!

In the early ’90s, I watched a very low-budget Blaxploitation movie on a random cable channel. I don’t remember the name of it, but remember that it was a real piece of crap for sure. Made for probably $2.98, it mostly made me groan and roll my eyes so hard that I changed the gravitational pull of the planet earth. But I do remember hearing a line, where some White dude called a Black woman hooker, “An enchanting Negress.”

“Negress” is a derogatory term for a Black woman or girl, that came about in 1786, and was frequently used during Slavery. In the context of that shitty film, the White guy was flexing his power and control over the Black woman, who was a hooker. That’s a common narrative, and it stings.

But I’ve always loved the word enchanting. I think it’s a beautiful word.

A few months after I saw that kooky movie, it was time to renew my license plate. For a long time, I toyed with the idea of getting a “vanity plate” because my sister got one. Then I wondered what I would get on it. My name is too long, I was trying to shorten my DJ name, I was really plowing through my brain…and then it hit me — Negress!

My mother was not a fan of my idea, my father and sister didn’t even care. So I sat down and came up with alternate spellings, in the WAY off chance someone else had “Negress.”

There was NO WAY anyone would have that plate, right?

WELLLLLLL, either someone did, or the DMV was fucking with me, because when I got my plates in the mail, it was spelled, “Nigress”! I was immediately infuriated, but about an hour later, I embraced it because I wondered who would actually pay attention, and maybe ask me about it. I’m happy to educate anyone, ESPECIALLY when it comes to racial issues. I’ve been doing that literally since I was 6.

So I got that plate on my car (a black VW Corrado — a zippy/snappy/peppy sports car modeled after a Porsche 911) as fast as I could, and waited for someone, ANYONE to notice and see what they said.

I got a lot of reactions, and the vast majority were intrigued. People who saw me getting out of and into my car would stop me and ask what it meant; I had a whole shpiel for them. Amazingly enough, I was never yelled at, or threatened by any racist fools, which is realllllly surprising to me.

Anyway, a few years later happened, and I sold my car…but I still have the plate! I’ve posted it on my social media a few times, and it ALWAYS gets hits, questions, and some “WTF do you think you’re doing?” backlash. That’s when I know my job is done!

MOVIE OBJECTS: INTRODUCTION | Ramona Lyons on EYE OF THE SERPENT (CONAN THE BARBARIAN) | Faythe Levine on BEDKNOB (BEDKNOBS AND BROOMSTICKS) | Gerald Peary on CUP OF COFFEE (THE BIG HEAT) | Christopher Orr on TOM’S HAT (MILLER’S CROSSING) | Lynn Peril on TRANSISTOR RADIO (DR. STRANGELOVE) | & 20 MORE.

PROJECT:OBJECTIONABLE (16)

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