Riveted
By:
February 1, 2011
Virtually every energy drink on the market today is marketed towards youth culture, the kind that wants a quick buzz just to keep the fun going. What about the blue collar worker that just wants to have energy to get the job done or the fisherman that woke up at 3:00AM to get to their favorite fishing spot? RIVET is for them and needed identity, packaging for an 8oz and 16oz can, and advertising that would connect with those consumers.
— the rationale for Rivet, a concept for a lowbrow energy drink by Stephen Bamford. Not available in retail any time soon, alas. But isn’t it a great idea? Because all those highly-trained tradesman driving around with stickers for Monster energy drinks on their trucks are really just dying to pop the top on a can of 3-in-one oil and taking a big quaff.
Makes me pine for a whole series of energy beverages guaranteed to appeal to the working class. Nursin’ got you thirstin’? Time to hang a bag of Salinate:
Granola could use a lumpen reboot, too, come to think of it. Sagging after a long day of janitorial services? I would be, too! Just pop a mouthful of Scuzzle and you’ll be back in action.
Sure, it looks like sweeping compound. But it’s full of protein for long-burning energy, and it’s loaded with beta-carotene. And if it makes you lose your lunch, just sprinkle a little Scuzzle on the mess and neutralize those odors!