Earn the second HiLobrow merit badge: Pipe Dreams.

Earn the first HiLobrow merit badge: The Radium Age.

Notes toward a musical based on DIPLOMACY, a strategic board game set…

“I’m just sitting here making myself nauseous/With this ugly polenta that stinks.”

A deadly duet between the Russian Tsar and the President of France.

Now the time is here/For Armand Fallières to spread fear…

Love affairs in the animal world.

The coronation of the cackiest captioneer.

My bad about Austerlitz and the Place Vendome… The Emps fucked up my Rome.

Professor Cone’s device finally works!

You have a mobile phone call… from 1977.

Don’t let LeBron’s apotheosis end the Internet!

Fantasy Football

A caption competition comprising conceptual cack.

We know you’re artificial. But are you intelligent?

Two great memes that taste great together.

I will print this post out and burn it.

Those two blokes are giving you a chance to win a book.

From an alien intelligence, a word to the wise.

An “awful squid-head with writhing feelers” — discovered!

Looking for a wife who’ll make a good mother?

An Audience Response Duplicator. You know you want one.

I’d all but given up hope…

No man with a per­pen­dicular back head is a natural father.