Food requires no justification, no retreat to the cerebral.

Mongolians — the Rosenbergs — Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing?


The plural, parable-spawning condiment of the people.


It’s been said that he was the last man to know everything.

Coyote wearing a giant clock, Loki with a fried chicken franchise.


His Dirk Gently is insufferable, wrongheaded, and largely hopeless.

Washington should never have accepted help from the butter-loving French.

Not criminal, but criminal-minded; chronicling, yet not committing.


Barbecue sauce doesn’t exist — but barbecue?

meso thumb

Mesoamerica was a hotbed of violence, Jesuits… and cuisine.

Reverse-engineering the lives of the vinegars.

Vinegar’s secret history as a beverage.

Bird doctor

The sine qua non of condiments: mighty, versatile, & vital.

He’s the antidote to the excesses of molecular gastronomy.

He won the Giant Bible of Mainz in a poker game.

Which of the four hot sauces rules your personality?

The Venn Platter explains the culinary world.

The anchovy

Umami is the savory opium of the people.


Tom Nealon’s Foucauldian-condimental history of the West.

He was the void around which orbited a magnificent pantheon.

The parataxic pyrotechnics of hip-hop’s Ishmael Reed.

He saw and rejected the end of post­modernism.


Recovering the tomato’s place in cannibal cuisine.

His criticism was easy to parody, infuriating, and brilliant.