george steele

A green-tongued and hairy-backed icon.

delany-2

He locates the key to our humanity within the permutations of our weirdness.

saunders

Bringing Swiftian vengeance to the streets of America.

miley-cyrus-hannah-montana-movie-photos

Miley Cyrus is at once surface and symbol.

GZA

“Don’t rap about your car, rap about what a car *is*.”

camel clutch

“Russia number 1, Iran number 1, USA [spits]“

junkyard thumb

A hero and victim of pro wrestling’s “kayfabe.”

u god

His brilliance is perpetually muffled.

A giant fat guy back when there was still honor in it.

gravy master2

Down with “thick and rich” gravy!

kraft 1962

Secret History of Salad Dressing

Why didn’t Europe crack the secret of maple syrup?

Nocenti’s work stands out like Longshot’s weirdly glowing eye.

slug

“I need to start writing pieces about other people’s problems.”

M.C.A.’s in the back because he’s skeezin’ with a whore? No more.

Food requires no justification, no retreat to the cerebral.

Mongolians — the Rosenbergs — Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing?

OuttaMustard

The plural, parable-spawning condiment of the people.

Kirchertrioearth

It’s been said that he was the last man to know everything.

Coyote wearing a giant clock, Loki with a fried chicken franchise.

DouglasAdams

His Dirk Gently is insufferable, wrongheaded, and largely hopeless.

Washington should never have accepted help from the butter-loving French.

Not criminal, but criminal-minded; chronicling, yet not committing.

bbq_shelf

Barbecue sauce doesn’t exist — but barbecue?