KING KONG BUNDY (Christopher Pallies, born 1957), who originally went by “Big Daddy” Bundy (the moniker was a mashup of Yorkshire wrestler Shirley “Big Daddy” Crabtree and serial killer Ted Bundy), was a giant fat guy back when there was still honor in it… before health clubs, steroids, and vegetables ruined everything. His shot at the big time came in 1985: At the first Wrestlemania, he literally squashed Special Delivery Jones in a nine-second squash match, leading to a run as a heel opposite Hulk Hogan; his cage match against Hogan even headlined Wrestlemania 2. However, it was September 1985′s “Colossal Jostle” with André the Giant that showed off Bundy’s elemental genius. The action was slow, grinding: a Pindaric ode to friction and heaviness. At times, from certain oblique angles, André made Bundy seem small and clownish at a mere 6’4 and 458 pounds; but when they clashed in the center of that squared circle, there was a visceral expectation among those of us watching that the ring would split open, burst into flames, or blink out of existence. They weren’t really battling each other… they were battling physics, gravity, common sense. No longer just titans in black singlets, they were Sisyphus and the rock, two Sisyphi fighting over a rock; they were two rocks.
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