My First Critical Theory ABC (5)
By: Greg Rowland | Categories: Browbeating, Haw-Haw, Poetry

Comrades! I present you with a radical counter-blast to the pervasive neo-fascism of the play group, a seven-day series of Critical Theory poems — radical quatrains that will enable children to challenge the dehumanising practices of the Kindergarten Konvention. Read this opus to your children, denounce parents who do not do so, and above all campaign, by any means necessary, for its print publication.

‘O’ is for Ono: Peace-Dreaming and Screaming
(And chanting with Beatles of similar leanings.)
She really liked jokes and wrote ‘Yes’ on the ceiling,
And if you’re called ‘Ono’ that’s rather appealing.

‘P’ is for Propp, saying fables were samey but all slightly bent,
So he climbed up a hill to see what they meant,
A bit strange for a grown-up, but that’s how he went.
Good luck to you Vladi, your thoughts pay my rent.

‘Q’ is here Qi, a force of good strength, packed full of zing,
Much used by Confucius, who wrote down everything,
And hid all his Qi in a Special Qi Tin.
But I’m getting tired, ’cos my Qi’s wearing thin.

‘R’ is for Russell, a nice English chap,
I think that he thought that real things are all traps,
And his friends were hard numbers, strange sums and mad maps.
But I don’t really get it, so I’m taking a nap.

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A series of seven posts, written by Greg Rowland and illustrated by Joe Alterio.

Joe Alterio is an illustrator, animator, comic creator, and artist interested in narrative structure, interactive creativity, and the physical manifestations of story-telling. See more at JoeAlterio.com.

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ALSO: Yoko Ono as HiLo Hero | Greg Rowland on Dr. Seuss as HiLo Hero | More theory on HiLobrow

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Greg Rowland used to write for The Idler and The Observer, but now has numerous commercial interests across the globe. He lives in London with his wife and children.