My First Critical Theory ABC (2)
By: Greg Rowland | Categories: Browbeating, Haw-Haw, Poetry

Comrades! I present you with a radical counter-blast to the pervasive neo-fascism of the play group, a seven-day series of Critical Theory poems — radical quatrains that will enable children to challenge the dehumanising practices of the Kindergarten Konvention. Read this opus to your children, denounce parents who do not do so, and above all campaign, by any means necessary, for its print publication.

Eagleton (‘E’), King Reader respected,
Said stories could lead to things quite unexpected,
Like bad bully-thinking that should be rejected
And ideas that are nice, but often neglected.

‘F’ is Foucault of ‘Knowledge is Power’.
So remember that phrase when told to ‘Go Shower’
’Cos if you provide some good enough reasons
You can stay dirty for up to three seasons.

‘G’ is for Gramsci, he’s Mr Hegemony,
So ruling by guns is only a memory,
Replaced by some films, some adverts ‘n’ ceremony,
So all will behave — every Tom, Dick and Jeremy.

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A series of seven posts, written by Greg Rowland and illustrated by Joe Alterio.

Joe Alterio is an illustrator, animator, comic creator, and artist interested in narrative structure, interactive creativity, and the physical manifestations of story-telling. See more at JoeAlterio.com.

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ALSO: Greg Rowland on Dr. Seuss as HiLo Hero | More theory on HiLobrow

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Greg Rowland used to write for The Idler and The Observer, but now has numerous commercial interests across the globe. He lives in London with his wife and children.