Conjurer of Monikers
January 23, 2012
Of the 5,000+ spam comments posted to HiLobrow each month, a few slip past WordPress’s filters and land in the “pending” queue, where we editors manually decide their fate. Sounds annoying, but I get a kick out of it — not only because of the non-stop flow of positive feedback (“The content on this article is really a single of the most beneficial material that I’ve ever occur across. I love your publish, I’ll occur back to verify for new posts.”), but because of the made-up monikers. They’re as good as — no, better than — the character names in a Philip K. Dick novel.
Here, for example, are the Top Ten Best Spam Monikers of January 2012, along with their expertly vague affirmations.
1. Marquis Napoleon Holt: “Wow, that’s what I was seeking for, what a stuff! present here at this webpage, thanks admin of this web page.”
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5. Yuri Kerbo: “This post has truly caused me to think about numerous new issues in our world. Thanks for causing others to believe.”
6. Parc Rosewood: “Your post is useful to me. I found your site through Google. Thanks for everything.”
7. Carrol Shingledecker: “This contest is such a wonderful idea! Merry Christmas!!!”
8. Isaiah Pelliccia: “Im searching on the web trying to find just how to begin this blog site thing as well as your website is nearly certainly really impressive.”
9. Fallon Battistoni: “I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble. You’re amazing! Thanks!”
10. Cleo Keovongxay: “This is really a very cool blog, thanks a lot for this! Ive read a great deal about this topic in the past and I agree with you.”
PS: The title of this post is an homage to a great short film by Dan Zukovic, about a man (played by Zukovic) gifted/cursed with the ability to come up with perfect band names.
PPS: If one of these names turns out to be your name, let me know and I’ll transfer my admiration from the spammers’ ingenuity to your parents’.